This got old at 1:11am on 1/22/06
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MAINSTREAM MEDIA
12.24.05 - [Bellingham WA, 2:35pm .It becomes evident that the mainstream media is lying to the public in the form of, among other things, digital manipulation. 3:12pm polaroid pictures, the last container of truth, are found abandoned by the road. 4:24pm scrutiny of the photos reveals them to be fakes and all hope for truth is lost. 7:01pm Epiphany : The last worth of "truth media" is how artfully it lies.]
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"At the time I had little reason to believe that the morning drink had affected us at all. However, the medley of other drugs, not to mention holiday spice, was causing noticeable alterations. I recall speaking frankly of the government."
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"My sister, Kori, and I had just witnessed three large hippies getting into a van. We waved with many enthusiasm only to receive a silent 'peace' (as denoted by the index and middle fingers extended skyward)."
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"The large hippies began playing loud Brian Eno music and did not drive away. In fact upon inquiry as to where they acquired their fine spirits they directed us to an undisclosed location in the woods. 'Follow the yellow spots, and if you can't find one follow the scent of lemon balm.' to this Kori lowered an eyebrow."
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"The yellow spots were of such variety and emotion that I was driven to exclaim loudly upon the discovery of each. Kori followed her nose. Although we did not know it at the time, our actions were being bet on by supernatural forces beyond the range of normal human vision. (Invisible alien gamblers)"
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"Kori finds a silver dollar!! Which was odd due to our proximity to a middle school as well as small magnetic fibers that covered the coin. The fibers, or filaments, pointed us in a strange direction. Kori later informed me that such filaments can be found in a normal box of Total. I believe her."
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"The coin points us down this way. On closer inspection the squarish block seen on the left was actually part of the tree. I suspect that the forest is attempting to mimic the right angles of the homosapein hive in an attempt to live symbiotically."
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"Again we find evidence of natural mimicry. This also happens to be the residence of one Herman Weatherspoon. Herman was addicted to sudoku as well and fine spirits as well. Upon questioning Weatherspoon what he made of living in nature's mimic, he responded 'much'".
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"Kori and I decide to venture further seeing as how the morning drink was kicking in. Deep in the wood we viewed several large boxes. I theorized they were traps for 'rods' (long flying two dimensional creatures) while my sister insisted on meat eating birds."
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"Carnivorous birds indeed. However, as we would later discover, Herman was not actually human at all and in fact a nature mimic as well. His place in the ecosystem was to feed the birds parts of himself, which he would then regrow. Upon later consideration, he was quite short."
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"A strange case of tree fungus taking on the aspects of a parabolic mirror. The reflection corresponded with nothing in the surrounding area and thus led me to theorize on a great deal of highly complicated origination philosophies. Kori humored me for a spell."
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"Stumbling out of the woods and into a small sub-urban colony! It appears to be abandoned. Much of the colony is in a constructional phase or birth if you will. Other parts see in utter decay. Fabulous."
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"The birth of this structure was in many ways a vile and ugly act. However, included in its architecture was a five walled room."
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"This photo is actually a high density 3D render that took millions of years to complete. Actually the whole world is a hologram interacting by spontaneous co-originating electron spikes. Kori 'poo-pooed' this because I think she knew I was going to bring up free will."
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"As we moved out of the sub-urban colony and back into the forest, I noticed a pile of scrappy gents that were surely to be Immolated. They looked sad but true."
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"In a rare snap of fate I was able to catch 11 monsters in a single photograph. This brings to total number of known monsters to more than 29. Rad."
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"While crossing a rather tall bridge we stumbled across a strange woman. She spoke only in numbers and balanced perfectly everywhere she went. Her dog was not cool."
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"I could hear a train so I blame a space/time dilation for the lack of a locomotive in this picture."
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"The locals say that this water is plenty full of WiterFush, which are also known as water fish, tin-tons, werisheopians, and happy hops. I like to cam them Bubble People. Kori vanishes for about a hour."
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"This animal was holding an envelope in its teeth and trying to feed it through the cracks of this walkway. I didn't have the heart to tell the beast that what it was doing was completely impossible."
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"As we talked and strolled along we found this. And after a short conversation with the face rock we broke into song : 'Does everybody hurt? Does everybody cry? ... Sometimes.' It was a little sad and melodramatic but as far as A cappella in the woods goes it was pretty good.
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"Kori has watched Donnie Darko way to many times."
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"Finally the coin leaps out of Kori's grasp and flees into this door. The door shuts behind it and that, as they say in Bellingham, is that. We both stomp our feet but to no avail."
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"In the end we are left with, yet again, the most defining moment in our entire lives."
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